ORIGINALLY WRITTEN: June 2024
NOTES: A part of Tumblr user dualrainbow 's annual, pride-themed summer writing event! I have a few trans headcanons for the R6 operators (being transmasc myself), and thought it would be fun to kind of explore one of those headcanons with a canonically trans operator as well.
They had met here and there through their service with Rainbow. Mostly through the guidance of others—and most notably when paired together under the command of Kali—but their natural interests in technology had meant one would always seek the other out when hearing of interesting new news. Of course, and perhaps humorously, the other person in the pair had already heard the news as well… But it was still nice to chat back and forth about their thoughts. It was refreshing.
It was something that became a routine habit between the two, and that led to them breaking out of their shells with one another.
Monika was hardly a social type, even within her own team. She cared deeply for them, and genuinely did see them as her friends. Stated time and time again that they were, even if her actions weren't always indicative of such. There was still this lingering distance. A subtle discomfort that stemmed from somewhere deeper within. A lingering insecurity that she may say too much, or that she wouldn't 'meet the mark' and humiliate herself in doing such.
Likewise, Anja was cordial with most (if a bit colder). Quicker; to the point. Her care for others, more often than not, showed through her work. Hours spent tinkering away in research and development labs to present a personalized gadget. Ngũgĩ's Mag-Net, Håvard's Aqua Breacher, and specialized prosthetics for Apha. Yet even then, there was a less-than-subtle difference. One that she deliberately placed there; talking with her, especially on a personal level, was a professional courtesy. Something the may help the team, but that took away from her work. Placed her in a spotlight that—depending on the day—she'd rather avoid.
Yet there was this magnetic pull between the two.
An odd chemistry that led to after-hours chats amongst the strewn about circuitry of the labs. Dimmed lights shone over the dark epoxy resin surfaces and the two women sat upon stools, idly picking away at whatever takeout they'd managed to get sneak back into the base through the clever use of the German's hoodie. Equally idle chatter filled the still air, conversations waxing and waning through topics and padded by light laughter as they'd recalled whatever wild stories that came to mind. Those from their former teams, from their lives before involvement with Rainbow…
"You know," Anja began, "You seem like the sci-fi type. Have you ever seen Empress of the Plutomatons?"
Monika's eyes lit up, hand briefly sitting over her mouth as she'd forced herself to finish the mouthful of food she'd just taken in. All the while, she nodded excitedly.
"Have I ever—Of course I have!" Another fit of laughter from the two at the enthusiastic outburst. "You know, I always wanted to base my whole look off of the Empress. The long, wavy hair. The fierce make-up. Weißte? Everything about her was just so…"
"Perfect?"
A dreamy sigh. "Sehr perfekt."
"What stopped you?" A genuine curiosity lingered in the Croatian's tone, eyes studying the other as she mulled the thought over. "You would pull it off well."
A warmth began to spread over the apples of Monika's cheeks. A subtle skip in her pulse that, while undetectable to the other occupant in the room, felt deafening. Then a subtle chill down her spine. What had stopped her was fear. The idea of being a caricature, that is more so than people around her life at the time had believed her to be. She stood out enough as she grew into her femininity. Hated every scrutinizing second that'd pass while she simply existed within the public eye. Glossed lips parted to release a soft sigh.
"It's… a long story."
"And not one you feel like sharing?" Anja piqued a brow, tilting her head slightly as she sipped at her drink.
The slow shake of the head. A nauseating bubble as her mind wandered to potential reactions to the explanation. A lingering wanting that brought Monika's mouth to move before her mind could stop it.
"Well. It's just—it felt… wrong. Like it wouldn't have really been who I am. That doesn't make sense, I know—"
"It does. Trust me." Anja smiled, a hint of sadness in her eyes. She was thankful the reflections on the glasses hid it. "I am sure you've probably heard all about me from the others. You know, even under Kali's command, not many of them wanted to work with 'someone like me' at first. I was used to it, it was no different in Zagreb—the same old discussions that you learn to tune out for something better."
Monika's interest was piqued. What did she mean by that? She had heard gossip of her direct approach to things. Her passions for the job. How she was had her soft spots, as much as she denied them. But…
"Heard about what?"
There was a long pause upon hearing the question. A near-uncomfortable silence that filled the room. Then boisterous laughter as the operator keeled over at the table.
"Molim—You can't be serious. Everyone finally shuts up about it, and I'm the last to find out?" She wiped at her eyes, briefly lifting her glasses from her features before settling back into her resting position. "I'm transgender, Monika."
Another long pause, though much less uncomfortable than the first. Rather, it was like someone had popped a bubble encasing the room and released all the tension built up within it. Unconsciously wound muscles found themselves relaxing at the statement, and lips curled upward in a comfortable smile.
"That makes two of us, then." Another sigh from Monika, though now it stemmed from a place of relief. Even with the intrigued look that crossed the other's expression.
"Really? I would have never guessed. Not because of your appearance, but—" That wasn't quite what she'd wanted to say, nor how. Shit. Her excitement got the better of her. "It was never mentioned by anybody."
Thankfully, Monika didn't seem to take offense to any potential—and notably accidental—insinuations. In fact, she laughed softly.
"Not many people know; I prefer it that way, personally. Of course, my old team knew. Medical staff. I think besides them, the only person I ever felt comfortable to tell was Doctor Pandey." A pause. "Until now, of course."
"That is… a lot of trust to put in a person." There was a shift in the operator's tone. A genuine surprise that broke through that cold, confident demeanor. Anja didn't think they were that close.
"I know. I trust you, that is why."
But she wasn't complaining. In fact, quite the opposite: She reveled in the fact. It meant that while Monika had broken through her walls, that she had also broken through Monika's. She still succeeded. They both did. And that brought a smile to her face. One that mirrored the one on her counterpart's.
"Is that so?" A genuine inquiry; an attempt to dissect how far that trust ran.
And Monika leaned into the attempt. Sat forward to sit her elbows on the table between them and rest her chin atop her palm as a blanket of comfort draped over her shoulders; caused her muscles to unwind and her posture to slump. All the while, that smile lingered on her lips.
"It is."