ORIGINALLY WRITTEN: Fall 2024
NOTES: This piece was written for the War Never Changes: Fallout Fan Zine created by Chunklet! This fan zine was created with the intent to fundraise for the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund (PCRF), and in total over $10k was raised to help children and their families who are facing genocide at the hands of some of the worlds' major powers. I was honored to be included in this project, and this is the piece I wrote for it.
Things could not have been any weirder. Genuinely! It was bad enough hearing whispers amidst the snow fallen camps about bright, blue lights lurking about the night sky. But to see them? To feel the tingling warmth radiating off of them? That was one thing. Feeling your muscles turn to mush, then waking up some hundreds of years later was another. And it. Was. Terrifying. Panic set into frozen bones. Eyes scanned the vicinity to land upon similar pods with very dissimilar folk. The one that’d stuck out most to Elliott, besides the young child who only just reached hip height, was what appeared to be another. A young person who claimed to be from the remnants of D.C., and seemed just as lost as he was.
But they, along with the others, made it through hell together. They fought off the strange spacemen. They navigated Mothership Zeta, or at least that was what they’d dubbed it, and took control of its helm. They, effectively, saved Earth. Then, one by one, they went their merry ways. Some of them had, anyway.
Paulson, the man who’d lost his wife and boy and came from a time long before them, found himself in the Capital Wastes as a daring desperado—well, truthfully he’d found himself bounty hunting. Going after the real daring desperados of the wastes and protecting innocent folk who found themselves outside settlement walls. A real noble cause. Somah, one of the first people the lone wanderer came across, found herself eager to return to the wastes. Space life wasn’t for her, and she had other obligations which needed attending to. What they were was unclear, but whatever it was, the lone wanderer never came across her again. And then there were those that stayed. Toshiro Kago, the samurai, had remained on Mothership Zeta, as it was an odd place of comfort. Generational differences aside, the lone wanderer and he had built a steadfast bond through steady communication, with their own dialect of Japanese just understandable enough to mesh with his. So, he’d figured staying with Elliott would be his safest bet, if the stories they swapped were anything to go by. Sally, the younger child of the bunch, also stayed with Elliott aboard the starship. It was safer among the stars, and she couldn’t deny the awestruck wonder that’d washed over her once she’d seen how unique the technology aboard was. Plus, if parts needed fixing, and they were lodged in some vent… There was no way one of the adults would be able to reach it. It was like a game, a jovial task that her—and her alone—could complete. Then there was the lone wanderer. Tomo was their name. Otsune Tomo. A peculiar individual with an even more intriguing past. Supposedly born in one of those vaults, then forced out by circumstance at the meek age of 19. Traveling alone across the remnants of Washington and its surrounding areas, all to find their father, who’d suffered a horrendous fate shortly after their reunion. A real tragic case, but a real trooper nonetheless. They’d briefly returned to the wastes to finish what they’d started, but as soon as they were fitted with a clean bill of health, they’d returned to the crash site where it all began.
And Elliott couldn’t have been happier.
The two would talk for hours, with Tomo catching the pre-War soldier up on everything going on below. Likewise, Elliott would tell them all about the different things he’s seen hovering above Earth, and all about the skeleton crew’s shenanigans. Yet the more and more he’d heard about life down below, he realized that maybe he’d like to go back. To feel the irradiated soil under his boots and breathe in the sights of the places he’d traveled to whilst under the government’s payroll. He was homesick, and terribly so. So one day, whilst Toshiro and Sally studied the view from the port, Elliott decided to broach the topic whilst Tomo inspected their Pip-Boy for notes they’d taken.
“Say… You ever, y’know, miss your home? I mean, I know you and your vault left off on some pretty bad terms, but… surely ya miss it, right?”
Brown eyes peered past the flickering display.
“Of course I do. Why?”
A pause. Hesitance lingering in his tone.
“Well, I… I know things ain’t the same down there. But with the boys gone and this,” he gestured around them vaguely, voice softening, “being all I have left of them… I think I miss home.”
The words struck Tomo hard enough for them to abandon their search and set the Pip-Boy down on the console beside them. They’d known that feeling more than anything. The only relic of their vault life was, frankly, the very device they’d just set aside. That, and the subtle inking that sat below their shirt collar. A permanent remnant of the trouble they’d get into with Amata in their earlier teen years. A permanent etching of the very thing that, beyond the realm of the vault, kept their mother so near. XXI: VI. 21:6. ‘I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end…’ They could still hear the reverence in their father’s voice as he’d recited the passage to them; it sunk their heart. Wordlessly, they sat forward and set a gentle hand on Elliott’s arm.
“I just don’t know what I’d do. I mean, I got Sally to take care of now, and I ain’t really familiar with D.C. I’d been, but I got no way of knowing how to get back to my home. Oklahoma’s a pretty far trek, and there’s no transport system. Least you ain’t said there were… It probably isn’t even safe there anymore, anyway.” He sighed. “I just… I want to do the right thing by her, y’know?”
“I know.” They patted his arm, nodding. “I know people that Sally could stay with. They’d keep her safe, and she’d be able to access tech that’s… less advanced than this, but it’d be new all the same.”
“Really? You’re sure?” Enthusiasm trickled back to him; revitalized his hope in things. Tomo smiled. “I’m sure. I’ve told you about them, the Brotherhood? They’re the ones that helped me do… everything. Saved me after that deal with the Enclave; saved me again, when I’d activated the Purifier. They’ve got children, too. It’s the safest place she could be.”
“Yeah—yeah, I remember ya sayin’ something about them. Alright. Yeah. When do we head out?”
[…]
The air was stiff when boots hit the ground. A burning sensation wracking the soldier’s lungs as he’d breathed in the lingering radiation for the first time. It hit Sally, too, bringing about a series of surprised coughs which immediately caught the wanderer’s attention. They stopped and crouched to her level, setting a gentle hand on her back to offer a series of steady pats. Around them, Brotherhood soldiers simply continued on their ways, some breaking off to enter the surrounding wings whilst others loitered about.
“I’m okay!” She chirped, taking a deep breath and exhaling to relieve any unease. “It’s not so bad, right?”
A nod. “There are some areas that are still heavily irradiated,” Tomo began. “But many of them are liveable. If you start to feel sick while Elliott and I are gone, I want you to talk to Dr. Li, okay? She’ll help you.”
“Is she nice?”
“Of course. But she’s busy, too. If she can’t help you, then look for Sarah. She’s a very close friend of mine.” There was hesitation on Sally’s face; it didn’t escape Tomo. So they leaned in and grinned. “Want to know a secret about Sarah?”
An enthusiastic gasp, and Sally leaned in too.
“Sarah is the Elder’s daughter. If you ask her nicely… she might show you some of the cool technology they’ve collected.”
“Woah! Really?” Sally beamed and drew back, rocking on her heels.
“Really. Now, we won’t be gone too long, yeah? A couple of days at most, since it’s a bit of a hike to D.C.” Tomo offered a reassuring look as they stood. Sally gave them an enthusiastic wave and sped off to explore all that she could. Like her, the remaining duo quickly prepped their gear and set off on adventure.
The ruins of D.C. still stood before them; still towered over the desecrated streets below. They, too, had their own scarring from the event to end it all, but they stood. And that fascinated Elliott. Blue eyes were wide with wonder as he could point out and recall everything as it was some two-hundred plus years ago. Detail to Tomo how pristinely white the monuments were, their contours shining amidst a blue sky and green grass. Now, they were much duller. Blending in to an almost invisible degree, if not for their sheer size. It was a troublesome sight for the former medic; one that quickly humbled that otherworldly wonder and soured it. Home wasn’t all it was meant to be, it’d seemed, and if a resourceful city like this could be reduced to atoms… He shivered at the thought of what little ol’ Stillwater would look like. And Tomo noticed the shudder, watching as he’d stepped forward and parked himself on the seats of the Museum of Technology. Flushed cheeks puffed as one came to rest on the palm of his hand, elbow balancing on his knee as he’d slumped forward. The exhaustion from walking through the downtown area was more than enough to prompt the gesture, though something more was clearly weighing on him. Tomo lingered on their feet, shifting their weight from side to side as they watched blond locks fall into the man’s face.
“It really is all gone, ain’t it?” He uttered. “‘sides the little bits you can find rummagin’ the rubble.”
“It… has been a while.” They started hesitantly. “But that doesn’t mean everything’s gone.”
Elliott peeked. “How’d’ya figure? Look at it. It’s… I mean, I guess because this was the center of America back in the day, it makes sense it’d be the most impacted. But even when you’re up in the stars, you can’t hardly see nothin’ anymore. It’s all so… empty.” The wanderer found themselves parked beside them, shimmying off their backpack and rummaging about to produce two bottles of Aqua Pura. They extended one to Elliott, who’d accepted it without a second thought. The gesture brought a small smile to their lips, a lithe elbow coming to nudge his side.
“What—”
“That’s proof that not everything’s gone. All the irradiated water people were drinking before…” They paused, biting back the memories that the train of thought conjured; the sacrifices it took to produce that bottle. “The point is, just because things as you knew it were gone doesn’t mean everything has to stay gone. For decades, people looked at my father like he had three heads. Purifying all the water in D.C.? That was pure imagination. But now, people have it in their hands.”
Confusion sprawled across the man’s features, though a spark of recognition ignited in his gaze. Tomo smiled a little more, continuing.
“It’s tough to get used to, I know. When I first left the vault, I thought things were hopeless. That I’d never find my dad, or that I’d die out here because I had no idea what I was doing. But then I found Megaton, and the people inside it. I found Moira, and Simmons, and even Moriarty, even though he’s kind of…”
“A jerk?”
“Yeah, a jerk. But he still led me to Three Dog, and to Sarah. And they led me to my dad. People out here are different than they were before the war… probably…” They spared a glance and Elliott gave a lighthearted shrug. They were; they weren’t. “But at the end of the day, they just want the same things: Safety and community—to belong somewhere. And many of them are more than willing to put the effort in to build it; to rebuild the remnants.”
“Makin’ them something new?”
“Exactly.”
A slow sigh escaped Elliott as he fidgeted with the bottle in his hands. Back and forth he’d moved it, opting to adjust his posturing and lean back against the steps as the bottle moved from hand to hand; as the water within it sloshed quietly and rhythmically. “It still hurts.”
A pause.
“… It’s going to, for a while.” A quiet affirmation, followed by a gentle hand coming to rest on Elliott’s arm. “It’s not easy admitting how different things are.”
A hand abandoning the bottle of water, and opting to reach across and rest upon the other’s. A friendly gesture; an acknowledgment of the homesickness that still shook their cores.
“And that’s what community’s for, yeah?” He smiled, eyes once more bright with motivation.
Tomo mirrored his smile. “Exactly. Now, you want to see if that exhibit’s still running? I’d be amazed if it was, but considering I accidentally triggered it when I’d gone in to retrieve that piece for Three Dog…”
And with that, the duo were on their feet and off again. Off again, with the realization that neither of them were truly lost in the hellish world around them, they both just needed to find someone who’d understood what it was like to live and lose. Someone who, like them, had hope in the future that lay ahead.