Trans* in the Wasteland: Wendy Curtis (Fallout 76)

ORIGINALLY WRITTEN: March 2023

DISCLAIMER: I am not a licensed medical professional or psychiatrist, this post is just based off of research I have personally done regarding the experiences of trans-feminine individuals! I am trans-masculine, so my experiences with gender are not the same. I also do not support fallout-lou-begas as an individual like it may be reflected in this meta. Lou is a racist individual with a documented past.

CONTENT WARNINGS: Discussions of Genitalia, Surgery, Dysphoria, and Transphobia.

One thing I always want to ensure I am doing with Wendy’s character is providing an accurate portrayal of trans-feminine experiences. Not only out of common courtesy, but also because representation for trans-feminine individuals who cannot/do not want sexual reassignment procedures is… minimal, and met with exclusionary retaliation.

It shouldn’t have to be said, but as a friendly reminder:

The trans* experience is not uniform, nor are anybody’s experiences universal.

You do not need to medically transition to be considered valid or “trans* enough”, you do not inherently need dysphoria to be trans, and you do not need to pass as cisgender to be considered “trans enough”.

So yes, due to the circumstances of Wendy’s canon universe, she has only undergone some hormone replacement and has not undergone other medical procedures. To quote her bio:

“ She picked up a job within the vault as an engineer at 16, helping maintain the vault’s reactors and tend to residential repairs, around the time that she began pursuing medical transition via the vault’s medical bay. Her parents, and most dwellers, were fairly accepting of the change, and the prejudices she faced by her more assertive peers did not stop the Overseer from awarding her for her incredible prowess on the job, going as far as to engrave the rewards with Wendy’s name to stand by her side. ”

As of Reclamation Day, Wendy is 21 years old, meaning she underwent hormone replacement for around five years. I want to detail the long-term side effects of hormone replacement to show how her medical transition thus far would show as she traverses Appalachia.

As a general guideline, the longer a trans* person has undergone hormone replacement, the more notable/permanent changes may be.

For this section, I’ll be referencing Dr. Maddie Deutsch’s “Overview of Feminizing Hormone Therapy”.

NOTE: Language has been changed to be more reflective.

As Dr. Deutsch outlines, there are four primary areas of impact: Physical, Emotional, Sexual, and Reproductive.

PHYSICAL CHANGES

[The] skin [becomes] a bit drier and thinner. [The] pores will become smaller and there will be less oil production. [Individuals] become more prone to bruising or cuts and in the first few weeks [they’ll] notice that the odors of [their] sweat and urine will change. It’s also likely that [they’ll] sweat less. When [they] touch things, they may “feel different” and [they] may perceive pain and temperature differently.
Breast development varies from person to person. Not everyone develops at the same rate and most transgender women who begin hormone therapy after puberty, even after many years of treatment, can only expect to develop an “A” cup or perhaps a small “B” cup.
[Their] eyes and face will begin to develop a more feminine appearance as the fat under the skin increases and shifts. [The changes] can take two or more years for … to fully develop [.] What won’t change is [the] bone structure, including the bones of [the] face as well as [the] hips, arms, hands, legs and feet.
The hair on [the] body, including [the] chest, back and arms, will decrease in thickness and grow at a slower rate.
Feminizing hormone therapy does not have any effect on voice pitch or character.

EMOTIONAL CHANGES

[One’s] overall emotional state may or may not change, this varies from person to person. Puberty is a roller coaster of emotions, and the second puberty that [they] will experience during your transition is no exception. [Individuals] may find that [they] have access to a wider range of emotions or feelings, or have different interests, tastes or pastimes, or behave differently in relationships with other people. For most people, things usually settle down after a period time.

SEXUAL CHANGES

Soon after beginning hormone treatment, [individuals] will notice a decrease in the number of erections [they] have; and when [they] do have one, [they] may lose the ability to penetrate, because it won’t be as firm or last as long. [They] will, however, still have erotic sensations and be able to orgasm. For those who are concerned about reduced erections, medications such as slidenafil (Viagra) may be helpful.

[Their] orgasms may feel like more of a “whole body” experience and last longer, but with less peak intensity. [They] may experience ejaculation of a small amount of clear or white fluid, or perhaps no fluid.

Though [the] testicles will shrink to less than half their original size, most experts agree that the amount of scrotal skin available for future genital surgery won’t be affected.

REPRODUCTIVE CHANGES

The impact of feminizing hormone therapy on fertility is unclear. While some data suggest that stopping hormones for 3-6 months can allow sperm counts to return, it is best to assume that within a few months of starting hormone therapy [individuals] could permanently and irreversibly lose the ability to create sperm. Some people may maintain a sperm count on hormone therapy, or have their sperm count return after stopping hormone therapy, but it is best to assume that won’t be the case for [them].

Now that the general outline is established, we can go point-by-point and understand Wendy’s own journey:

Physical: Wendy experiences all of these changes as listed. Her skin is more sensitive and elastic, her fat (what little she has, honestly) has redistributed, her hair has thinned (thankfully without any baldness), and she has developed natural breasts. Her voice is a result of her training it, and sits in the androgynous-feminine range.
Emotional: Wendy’s general emotional spectrum has not changed much. Early in her transition, she did become more sensitive toward the emotions of others (esp. toward her), but she learned how to manage her emotional responsivity.
Sexual: Due to Wendy maintaining the gentialia she was born with, she experiences these changes as listed. Wendy is unable to penetrate her partners for the most part, and prefers other forms of stimulation (e.g., jacking off). Her ejaculate is a clear fluid.
Reproductive: Due to limited medical technology, Wendy is uncertain whether or not she produces viable sperm. Speaking from a meta standpoint, it would be highly unlikely. Though to be safe, if/when Wendy does penetrate her partner, she makes sure to use any forms of protection that she can.

So Wendy still has “male” genitalia? Yes.

Due to what I sum up to be “traditional American transphobia”, it’s honestly unlikely too that the Vault had a surgeon skilled with trans* procedures. After all, there are still huge gaps in the knowledge surrounding trans* affirming healthcare because of the lacking medical education around trans* individuals.

Another friendly reminder that the medical field is uneducated for anyone that is not an able-bodied cishet white male, much like other societal institutions.

Additionally, I would like to reference fallout-lou-begas’ general trans* fallout lore on Post-War healthcare, because I believe it makes the most sense and gives a—albeit “tragic"—realistic outlook on the trans* experience:

” As far as surgical interventions, such as bottom and top surgery, I imagine they’re not impossible because surgery such as implant insertion and plastic surgery are already available in the wasteland. However, for the longest time, sex reassignment surgery was considered a very risky and specialized form of surgery and to this present day it still remains a very niche specialty. I imagine this will only be exacerbated post-war, when even “doctors” in the vaguest sense are much more rarer and more poorly equipped (with, I imagine, a corresponding rise in old-school barbers who weren’t just barbers, but dentists and surgeons as well who were simply trained in removing parts of your body causing problems).

[…]

And I want to stress that this approach to trans health care in the wasteland is hardly one meant to sound like “the world has punished trans characters” or anything, and frankly if I get messages like “why do you want trans characters to suffer” I’ll be offended by how far the point was missed. Like I said, I theorize transitional health care in the wasteland the way I do [… ] because it’s very important to me to explore that space that exists outside of contemporary, popular understandings of transsexuality and transition because it helps me feel closer to and understand my own feeling of transness and womanhood.

In general, I turn towards the trans people of the early 1900s and mid-century period for inspiration […] because these people lived as trans not only without access to the hormones or surgeries that we have today, but they lived without those hormones or surgeries being established, canonized, or implemented yet, and what it meant then to be trans was therefore different (but not separated) from what it means today. Of course, I’m writing from a transfeminine perspective because I’m a trans woman. “

Highly recommend reading her queer Fallout meta honestly! Especially because she integrates input from other trans* individuals (trans-masc, nonbinary, etc.).

Anyway, back to Wendy now—A few less thought out headcanons I have regarding her presentation and status as a trans* individual include:

Her bottom dysphoria has significantly decreased since beginning hormone replacement.
Wendy does not tuck often (if at all), and prefers to “dress around” her bottom. This is partially why she has a more masculine clothing preference, aside from the general sturdiness of men’s clothing.
Wendy is stealth, and only other residents of Vault 76 know that she is not cis. She will tell this to her romantic partners if she believes they will be close enough to establish something long-term or more intimate. Otherwise, the topic is generally avoided.