ORIGINALLY WRITTEN: March 2023
DISCLAIMER: This post was originally written as a sort of "post-liveblog liveblog", where many of the points are summative or just, not as thought out. But I was kind of cooking with this one (so much so that someone sent me anonymous hatemail over it), so I thought I'd archive it nonetheless.
CONTENT WARNINGS: Mentions of Abuse/Manipulation
And then thinking about all of this in retrospect, the idea that Kim is so willing to do everything for Jimmy during the events in which everything happens (and how much she’s grown to be able to pull off that last con of sneaking in before finally turning her back).
Like, thinking back to the apartment scene with Lalo, Jimmy (for several reasons summed up as his own cowardice and quick thinking) made her into a sacrificial lamb in the apartment scene.
He told Lalo that KIM was capable of murdering the target (re: Gus, most likely unknown to the duo given the limited extent of their interactions with Lalo). He convinced Lalo to let HER go carry out the hit, knowing that:
And, in the whim of the moment, he was right. Kim WAS capable of it because it gave her the possibility of saving Jimmy. Kim has literally said herself that she has and is willing to drop everything for this man:
“ Jimmy! I have been on your side since the day we met! Who comes running when you call? Who cleans up your messes? I have a job, but I drop everything for you. Every single time. You confess to a felony on tape, I’m there. You have a bar hearing, I represent you. Over and over again, if you need me, I’m there. ”
And it’s just… It’s amazing. It’s true! And I think a lot of her reasoning, aside from trying to see the good in everyone, is because she’s so used to this kind of stuff.
We don’t see a lot of her mother, but from the flashbacks we have, Mrs. Wexler and Jimmy (or rather, his sleazy persona, Saul) are effectively two sides of the same coin. She was raised by someone like Jimmy so, to an extent, there’s that internal justification of the things he does. It’s an illustrative case of how vital of a role parent modeling plays within the family dynamic.
Going to apply some of my own academics into this unintentional rambling, but I’ll try to keep it brief.
Modeling is the presentation and observation of behaviors, whether desired or undesired. Children often look to their parents most for what they should and should not do, and while not understanding the nuances of the behaviors, they are conscious enough to understand the responses to behaviors (e.g., punishment or reward).
A common phenomenon among parents is unintentionally modeling behaviors they do not want to see with their children, aka behaviors that are counterproductive to the desired family dynamic. This can happen for a number of reasons, but two common ones are:
Think of the expression “Do as I say, not as I do”. It’s an age-old expression parents use to justify their behaviors while attempting to dissuade their children from doing the same. Unfortunately, it’s about as effective as slapping a bandaid on a severed limb. This is mostly due to the fact people tend to pick up on nonverbal communication so much more than verbal communication. Simple gestures can change the meaning of conversations, after all.
And I think the relationship between Kim and her mother showcases that concept perfectly.
The flashback where Kim is caught stealing the earrings is a great example, though we do also get that verbal encouragement after the fact, as Mrs. Wexler used Kim as a distraction to steal the other set of earrings. We hear Mrs. Wexler chastise Kim in front of the store’s manager, saying how she’d be much better off in the hands of the police because she’s that mad. Yet her body language there is fairly relaxed. A trained eye, such as Kim’s (as she knows her mother best), can tell it’s a farce. And so even at that moment, Kim is observing that what she’s done is okay because her mother is affirming that physically.
And even though that’s just one instance, from what Kim recalls in brief conversations, that was commonplace. So throughout her peak developmental years, she was shown that these behaviors are okay so long as there is a benefit. As long as the reward outweighs the risk (which is a whole other topic I could lecture on). And, almost consistently, that’s been the case with Jimmy.
But now, through the confrontation with Lalo and Howard’s death, there’s that realization that the risk is getting too high. That the reward isn’t going to be worth the effort. However, so much work has been put in (both in terms of the acts and the relationship with Jimmy) that I think this is being justified by Kim as something she’s put so much into.
That, at this point, she will get the reward because the reward now is her life. Jimmy’s life. And that’s something that she’ll take (or would have taken) all avenues to protect.